Sometimes

I can't see beyond my own self-absorbed dreams. I miss the beauty of the moments when talking with kind and engaging people, I miss the bigger picture, I miss the value of life. The inherit value of life and people b/c all I can focus on is the goal of tomorrow and the goal of today and the goal of my future. I hate this type of existence. It eats away at my foundation. It makes me feel as if I am missing some part of myself.

losing lives

I am effected by the loss of a life. I am effected and the world is effected. We often forget the value of life. It has been said that the single movement of a butterflies wings can alter the course of the world. If this is close to true, then imagine the impact that each individual has on the space and time and movement of our world. Our lives matter. Each life matters.

I had a friend commit suicide this past month. I felt the loss of her life deep in my soul. I felt the pain of her heart deep in my soul. I didn't know her like a sister and we weren't best friends, but she impacted my life. She spent a moment of time with me and I never forgot. How can we look at events such as the holocaust or 9/11 as if they are nothing? As if they are merely markers of time. Each person who died had a role in this world. Each person had inherent value.

When I watch documentaries about the Holocaust all I can think is 'how' and 'why'? This is the sadness that haunts me. I feel the loss.